What do you see?

When I look at her I see a big smile. But I wonder what you see? And it makes me sad to know you can't see what I see. The Lord has given us something to special that a person who is shallow can not see. Because you have to look beyond the obvious to see her smile and beauty.

How I miss my G.G.

My little G.G. got her glasses today. Shely said she has done a great job of keeping them on. So she must of really needed them and realized how well she could see. Now she really looks like her grammy. Okay not quite but I can dream.

She loves her new baby. But they are so diffrent. And in ways this Moebius Syndrom made Camielle an easy to care for baby. Where Chloe has a loud baby cry. Camielle didn't. Camielle was hooked up to a feeding machine almost continually and there were no every the hour feedings. And she was in the Hospital the first 5 weeks of her life. So it has become a challenge for Shely. And Camielle is starting to show her terrible 2 early. Shely called me the other night as my little baby doll was throwing a fit. Because Shely was eating supper and Camielle want something to eat. She didn't want the feeding tube she wanted real food and she wanted it THEN AND NOW! Shely gave her a spoon and a little baby food. No that was not what she wanted. I wonder if she notices Chloe is taking a bottle like mommy and daddy take food and she want to be like them. I always wonder how her brain works. Sometimes you look at her and you see that mask that God has given her and you for get that behind that mask is a child whose brain is taking in everything and thinking about ways to accomplish things. She is so funny at times. Well her new thing is she has to have glasses. I know that is a fight waiting to happen. At least for a while till she realizes she can see better. I worry about her when Shely goes to work. They are on a tight income now and a special babysitter for her is expensive I just hope that God bless them with some kind of help. Either that Shely won't have to go back to work or a blessing of a person who wont charge her an arm and leg to take care of the girls. I really have living away from my 3 girls. Sometime I feel that I have abandon Shely when she needed me most.

Happy Easter to my 2 little bunnies. Chloe is 10 days old and Camielle is handling being a big sister very well. It's mommy I worry about. I wish that I was closer to her to help. Because I know that she needs help with both. Both of them need feed every 3 hours (G.G.'s last feeding is 8pm) and Camielle is still not walking so it is like having like twins. One just a little bigger than the other. And I know my daughter she will not ask for help. The feeding during the night I am sure is rough for her. She didn't have this with Camielle. She was on a feeder. So she had to get up only once and that was around 5 in the morning to fill her feeder. I just hope she comes up with a schedule that will make sure she is getting enough rest. I would take my G.G. for a few days except she need her physical and occupational therapy. Yes I worry about my 3 girls. My baby girl and her girls. I pray for strength and good health for all. I really hate that I can't be there to help. I feel that is my job as a mother and grandmother. Am I failing?

Camielle became a big sister on April 2, 2009.

I was worried how she would handle this new addition. I thought she would be jealous and not want anything to do with her. Surprise! She thinks her new sister is just great. She wants to give her loving all the time. She just sits and stares at her at times.

I had Camielle for a few days while mom was waiting for Chloe to arrive. She is so funny. She has picked up some sign language up and she uses. But when she says no you hear that very well in her voice. And she is learning how she can move to get in different positions. It just amazes me at time how she is adapting for her disabilities.

When I first held Chloe I was just in awwh with how she looked around and her facial movements. And then I realized how Camielle has taught us to appreciate the small things that most parents and grandparents take for granted. It is these things that let me know why God has blessed me with a special granddaughter. And not to take the small things for granted.